You are my Abel

You were there, in the 60’ and 70’. You follow with a deep heart our True Parents demands. I was not there.
You were the missionaries that pioneers, not just Korea, but the whole world. I was not one of them.

Today, many brothers and sisters, TribeNet members included, are witnessing and teaching the Divine Principle every day. I am not doing that either.

My path was different. Heavenly Parent guided me differently and ask me to do something different. So, I did and still do. I cannot complain. Heavenly Parent need each of us according to our abilities. However, to me, in my heart, mind, and soul, Brothers and Sisters, whose main public work is witnessing and teaching the Divine Principle will always be my Abel.

With gratitude,
Anne-Marie

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PS: “Abel” in the Unificationist language means:
Someone who guide, protect, and lead, someone else in their spiritual journey towards the fulfillment of God’s will.

About Social Drinking

A question I received several years back from a Parent, and the answer I gave. I

think it is very much relevant still today.

Question:  What should we be telling our 2nd gen. concerning social drinking?

Answer:

This question has been the most difficult for me to answer so far.  Not necessarily because I do not know the answer, but I want to make sure that I would not be misunderstood, and/or misrepresent True Parents.  Also, through my answer I want to help not cause additional confusion and possibly alienate blessed children or others.

It cannot be denied that social drinking has been observed among Unification Church members, and we cannot pretend that it does not happen.

This time I am going with bullet points to begin my answer and then elaborate on them.

1)      TF cannot openly approve of social drinking
2)      One must be educated as to the ups and down of alcohol consumption and the mechanisms of addiction
3)      It is best not to judge the behavior of another
4)      Each individual should take responsibility for what they do

I have never heard any speech or read any document where True Father endorsed drinking, including social drinking.  It is obvious to me why True Father would not publicly endorse the use of alcohol.  True Father is not here to micro manage any of us.  But, for example, if he would have said something like, “Social drinking is okay,” would we be capable of knowing when social drinking stops and actual dependency starts?  It would be hard to tell.  It is well known among medical circles that many so-called “social drinkers” are actually dependent on alcohol and, therefore, way beyond social drinking status.

Peer pressure is what usually causes a young person to start drinking, but this is not the best reason for starting to taste alcohol. The more knowledgeable about the pitfalls of drinking alcohol, the better the chance a young person will have not to start.  The more immature reason for starting to drink is to do it because others are doing it.

I am French; in the French culture drinking alcohol starts at baptism and, at least when I was there, never ended!   I drank growing up in a French household, however, I am not a drinker.  I have done it on occasion in the past and observed that actually even though I do like the taste of a sweet red wine, my body does not like it.

Young people are very judgmental, it comes with the territory, and it is important that we guide them to make decisions that they can be comfortable with for a very long time.

Hopefully, by the time a parent is dealing with late teen difficult questions such as “social drinking,” there is enough of a trust element between the parent and the child for the conversation to be truthful and helpful.  One element that is very important to teach one’s child is non-judgment.  Judgment belongs to God, not to humans.  If we start judging other people’s behaviors, we limit ourselves in our ability to comprehend others and see them from God’s point of view.

Many religious leaders in the past and present have lost their flocks because they were not able to live according to the standard they were demanding from their followers.  Does that mean that their religious principles were false?  Not necessarily.  Religious people throughout history have failed miserably to follow basic principles taught by most faiths.  Does that mean that we should not try to follow God’s principles?  Yes we should try--forever try to be the best people we can be.  If a blessed child talks him or herself into the idea that it is okay to drink simply because they have seen church leaders, their own parents, or their peers doing it, they are passing judgment, and their motivation for drinking is not necessarily the best.

One will have to make up one’s own mind according to one’s conscience as to whether it is okay to drink a glass of wine or a beer in a particular setting.  And one will have to live with the action of doing so. One’s spiritual growth is dependent on every action taken throughout one’s life.

I am reminded of one of the most famous Buddhist stories passed from one generation to the next. It goes like this:

In the old days man was close to nature and it was easy to become silent. This story belongs to that time. One day two Buddhist monks were returning to their monastery in silence.

A small river used to flow close to their monastery. Walking slowly, meditatively, they came across the river.  They needed to cross it but there was no boatman.  A beautiful young lady was waiting for a boatman to cross the river. The sun was about to set and darkness was spreading its kingdom.
They all waited for some time for the boatmen and eventually decided to cross the river on their own. The younger of the two monks carried the lady on his shoulder, and three of them then managed the crossing. On the other side of the river the lady thanked the monks and went on her way. The two monks started moving towards their monastery, again in a meditative state. After some time the older monk broke the silence "I will tell everything to Master." The young monk was surprised and asked, "And what will you tell Master"?  The old monk said, "That your reputation is spoiled. You have carried a woman on your shoulders, and it is a sin for a monk to touch a woman.” The young monk replied "I only dropped the woman at the river bank. But you are still carrying her in your head."

Drinking a beer or a glass of wine once in a while is a bit the same.  If the one doing the drinking is going to carry on the burden of doing so for days on end, then one should not do the drinking in the first place.  On the other hand, if one does drink a glass of wine with a meal for whatever the reason, appreciates it and is grateful for being able to do so without succumbing to drunkenness and addiction, then that person most likely will be able to handle the spiritual responsibility of it quite well.
 
One last point before I close:  education is the best way to help someone’s behavior.  If I was a high school or college teacher I would have my students do research on the effects of alcohol--in the family, and in the workplace.  I would have them research not just the social effects, but also the monetary effect of alcohol consumption and alcohol dependency.

That is the best I can do at this time, I hope it helps,

Anne-Marie

How to improve our nation in a single generation (30 years)

Most of our society’s problems would be solved if we were taking care of our children the right way.
The government is limited in its ability to control families but has full authority to control what is going on with the public schools, and therefore, at the risk of losing their governmental post should do the right thing.

What should be done:
•    Updating our ancient curriculum
•    Distributing all funds equally

I would like to approach the 2nd point. In most communities today around the country, funds for school are distributed in accordance with the location of the taxpayers. This system creates beautiful, well maintained, well equipped school buildings in area where individual with wealth live and leave run-down, roof liking, and empty libraries in areas where families who are already in dire need of financial support live.

The result is that many of the children in impoverish areas do not get stimulated to go to school and learn, instead they get pull sideways and repeat the cycle of a life that they don’t like and too many of them do not have the ability to take themselves out of that destructive cycle.

It is not just the buildings that are not good enough, sometimes it is the teachers too. Some teachers are more talented than others, more resourceful than others.

Often, a good teacher, in an impoverish school, who is able to get the score of his class up, will, the following year be sent to a “better” school because of it. It is truly sad.

I believe that most children who come from disadvantaged families, drugs infested neighborhood, would love to escape to school every day, if they were finding themselves in a nurturing and physically healthy environment. They would do their homework, and they would study, I guarantee.

We owe it to ourselves to care for our children. I cannot do it on my own, but together we can. If we want to get rid of the massive low self-esteem and self-destructive environment that we see our children getting into when they are adults, we need to serve them well when they are children, and that takes willful sacrifices.

Originally written September 5, 2019.

Joshua and Caleb verses Cain and Abel

This morning reading during our prayer meeting (HDK), True Mother spoke about Joshua and Caleb. She says: “Throughout their lives, Joshua and Caleb remained loyal to Heaven, and they led the chosen people into Canaan.”

I then realized, that referring to each other as Cain or Abel may not be the best way anymore. What about if we were using the expression “Joshua and Caleb” instead?

Cain and Abel had their time. Including in our movement.

We referred to each other as either being in the position of Cain or Abel. I have prayed many prayers, mentioning the necessity for Abels to become “True Abels” so that Cains become “True Cains”. However, this morning reading, tells me that it is time for us to refer to each other’s as Joshua and Caleb instead. They had a relationship of respect towards each other with the same goals. They supported each other and each found their place in the providence in accordance with their own abilities.

Our young people of today are the one who are going to face the end of the last days. Not an easy task. The only way they will make it, is by supporting, caring, and working together with the same goals. Thinking “Joshua and Caleb” is a good way.

With gratitude, always,

Anne-Marie 

Living for the sake of others, how to apply this life principle?

It is not difficult to fulfill this when the situation is obvious that someone needs help, many of us will rush to help, give money, provide a meal, and pray.

However, living for the sake of others is a lot more than just taking care of emergencies. Living for the sake of others is to be constantly aware of what we do and not do, which might affect someone else’s life and emotions.

One example:

I have seen, way too many times, in my line of work, the missing opportunities of “living for the sake of others”. The example below is, unfortunately too frequent.

Singles register on OMS in order to find a spouse. They create a profile, they become a candidate. Then, at some point, via a different source they do find someone, and start an earnest conversation. However, they do not notify me, so that their profile becomes invisible to others.

In the meantime, their profile still gets looked at, and shared by Matching Supporters to candidates. Someone gets their hopes up because they read a good profile that truly appeal to them. And then, suddenly, we get an email that tells us, the individual has been in a relationship for a while now, could you please turn the profile off?

This is truly sad.

My Christmas Wish

My Christmas Wish,

Today is Xmas eve and at Morning HDK, I was able to hear Dr. Thomas Ward comments and reflections on some of True Mother’s words written in her memoirs.

It is my Xmas wish that our children would listen to these few minutes of reflections without being distracted, but truly listen with their whole being.

In 2012 and 2013 important events hurt their heart tremendously, so much so, that many could not reconciled their budding trust in True Parents with these events, so they walked away.

My eyes are wet. My heart is longing for our children to be spiritually reborn. I don’t want them to have a blind faith, I want them to have a faith that can be dismembered and dissected and yet stay whole and withstand the invisible powers of the remnant of the fall still within all of ourselves.

Dr. Ward, like many of the 1stgenerations who worked closely and intimately with the True Parents for many years, has the knowledge and ability to defy the spiritual ignorance of all who sincerely are looking for an unselfish, caring, respectful, and loving world centered on the original creator of us all.

Sincerely, with gratitude,

Anne-Marie

December 24th, 2023

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5HvFElMsU8

From:18:20mn to 33:07mn

 

 

Definition of a True Woman

A true woman will have accomplished what she was created for.  A true woman will have the feeling of fulfillment that will resonate throughout her being.  A true woman will have experienced all feminine aspect of God’s love.  A true woman will know she is not a man and will have no desire to ever compete with one or become one.

 A true woman can give life.  A true woman can nurture life.  A true woman can look at her husband and sons in ecstasy and be proud of their worldly accomplishments without envy, their victories are her doing.  A true woman will raise her daughters to become true woman.

 In an ideal world, a true woman shall be found at all levels of society.  She will not be found there because she victoriously overcame men’s rules.  She will be found there because she was the best individual for the position she now holds.

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This post was originally posted in February 2014.